Sometimes bad is more then good.

Well with owning a home that is older then "T" and I comes a lot of problems with this place. Ugh where do I begin? The plumbing is completely screwed! We basically have to redo all the plumbing underneath. Thank God my dad knows his plumbing because we don't have to hire a plumber because they want $4500. Which is WAY more then we payed for this entire place. So anyways... my dad is going to fix it for us but the problem that comes with that is we of course must pay for the materials which will more then likely be more then $100. I know its nothing compared to $4500 but even that right now to us is more then we can afford. So... we have to somehow come up with this money for that. Ugh! This whole thing needs to be done ASAP too because at anytime our plumbing could become clogged again and then we are screwed even more. So "T" will more then likely have to use his tax return to pay for the materials.

Then there is the relationship between "T" and I that has become strained because we both get so stressed out about all the problems with our home and our finances. We got in a huge screaming argument yesterday over the phone. I can not remember the last time I have yelled at someone like that. It brought out the worst in me and I hate that part in me! I know that I have issues with trusting a man, especially after watching my parents go through what they went through. Not to mention the men in my past that have been unfaithful to me. "T" does know that I struggle with trust and i know he does as well. I know deep in my heart that I have nothing to worry about when it comes to him being faithful to me. But somewhere in my subconscious i don't trust any man. I think they are all the same. He's one of the good ones and I need to consistently remind myself of that. So I just need to work on me a little bit more so that I don't yell at him like that again. Well I can feel myself beginning to ramble so it's time to stop typing...

How things have changed!

Well things have changed so much since my last post, I am so much in love and living with my boyfriend, lets call him T! I can confidently say the I have found my Mr. Right! Well he found me on a dating website in July. We moved in together at the end of October and everyday I love him more and more! Things are most def rough but i now we will get by... Money is not the easiest thing to come by and sometimes it seems neither of us can catch a break when it comes to our jobs! T works at a casino on the Las Vegas Strip and its probably the worst casino on the strip. But i have to admitf, in this economy its a job! Although yesterday T called me with a bit of bad news... They are making him part time now, so now both of us are part time at our jobs and still have our space rent to pay and bills coming up! And the place we bought needs so much work!! But all i know is that i love him and we will get through all this! I think by doing this blog it will help me get somethings out that maybe i couldn't before. Not sure if anyone will read this but hey its out there and if it will help me get some sort of release of my feelings I will put them all out there!

It is OVER!!

So I finally completly ended things with Kipp last night. It went really well and we were both mature adults about the situation. He is getting back with his ex girlfriend and I am okay with that. I actually feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulder. Thank God!! I feel like I can move on from him and meet new guys and hopefully find someone for me like he "supposedly" found someone for him. Whatev! It probably will not last but by the time he realizes it he will be in Detriot and I will be no where near him! YEAH!! So in about a week or so all the friends will be done with school for a while and then I can get back out there and start to meet new people. Wish me luck on my hunt for "Mr. Right" in the City of Sin. Yeah, I know... Good luck with that right?

What a weekend!

Okay so on friday night I went to remedy's only to see the guy I like from work making out with this super ugly girl with no class what so ever! UGH!!! Whatev! So me being the bitch that I am I decided that when we left I would give him a huge kiss on the cheeck and used my friends glittery lip gloss so when I kissed him he had glitter all over his cheek HAHAA! serves him and his ugly girl right! Anyways went to Stoney's and danced the night away! Got more drunk then i planned and oh well! Then decided I wanted to see Kipp so when I got back from Stoney's my drunk ass drove over to his place and hung out there for a few hours and got what I went there for! Yeah... It was amazing by the way! =)
Well i had to work at 10 the next morning and that really sucked! I was soo tired and a little hung over and had a 5hr. day ahead of me. So work was super busy but made it through till 230 and then left work. Finally got all the food for Turkey Day and I yay! I am soo excited for yummie turkey and stuffing and HAM!! Yummo! Saturday night I was supposed to go to Kipp's but was way too tired so I cancelled that. Worked sunday at 11 and we were busy again! BLICK!! But now I have this other dilemma on my hands with someone else from work and I just don't know what to do! He is so sweet and I know he would treat me like the princess I truely am LOL! but there is one big prob. He is married! Very unhappily married. I know all about the cheating thing after what I seen my mom go through with my dad and would never want to put a woman through that. But he is soo persistant. I unfortuantely have been in a situation like this before and I was the "other woman" But that was many years ago and i was very young and stupid! So i have plans with him on wednesday. I told him we could hang out and talk and then I will take it from there i guess. We will see. So i seen New Moon last night and damn! It was really good! Hott guys and romance! Can't got wrong with a movie like that! Well i got work tonight and should be a good night!

Thought I would get some thoughts out there...

Well, thought I would give this whole blogging thing a try. Why not? I mean I know a lot of people blog these days and so I think it is my turn to give it a try. I am on Facebook constantly and cant always put all the thoughts out there that I want to so I figure blogging would be a way to do that. Now according to Lito(my 16 yr. old brother) this is the lamest thing I could do but with this X-mas coming up I am getting a laptop so I will be able to get a lot more time online. Right now I use the family computer and it is such a battle between my little bro and dad. So... once i get my computer I will be probably be doing this a lot more. I am having a dilemma with guys. I have one that i usually see once a week and "hang out" with but I don't want a relationship with him. He is just coming out of a serious relationship and I am sure still loves her, his mother has cancer and lives in another state and also the kicker is that he has a really bad drinking problem and I would never want him for a boyfriend unless he did a huge 180. The I have this other guy is trying to be with me but he is married... Would treat me like a princess but I am not going to do that to another woman. I know the feeling of being cheated on and yeah it is pretty shitty! There is one guy that I would really like to be with and actually think that he would be almost perfect for me but the fact is that he is kinda my boss and we could lose our jobs if anything ever happened. Plus I don't know if he would look at me that way. I have friends that tell me about online dating sites but I look at it as I am not incapable of meeting someone just keep meeting the wrong ones...
On another note, I was "trying" to quit smoking but I broke that last night when i went to the bar with a girl from work and had 2 cigarettes. So it will be harder then i thought but I will do it eventually. The hardest part is not doing it when I am drinking or around friends that smoke. Another thing is trying to lose weight. I know I could stand to lose a few lbs. but i am actually fine with myself now but have a father that will not let the fact go that i am over weight. My thing is the moment that Hollister shirts stop fitting over my boobs then I have a problem. lol!
So tonight, my new friend Kristy and I are hitting up Stoneys Country Bar. Should be fun. She is a friend from work that actually reminds me of the best friend I had growing up in San Diego. She is engaged but that doesn't mean we can have fun and I can maybe meet a cute new boy! =) Hopefully!!! Well i will continue to try this out and to whoever is out there keep you posted on my confusing and sometimes lonely love life . Gotta try and take a nap before tonight and hopefully try to find an outfit for tonight.