Thought I would get some thoughts out there...

Well, thought I would give this whole blogging thing a try. Why not? I mean I know a lot of people blog these days and so I think it is my turn to give it a try. I am on Facebook constantly and cant always put all the thoughts out there that I want to so I figure blogging would be a way to do that. Now according to Lito(my 16 yr. old brother) this is the lamest thing I could do but with this X-mas coming up I am getting a laptop so I will be able to get a lot more time online. Right now I use the family computer and it is such a battle between my little bro and dad. So... once i get my computer I will be probably be doing this a lot more. I am having a dilemma with guys. I have one that i usually see once a week and "hang out" with but I don't want a relationship with him. He is just coming out of a serious relationship and I am sure still loves her, his mother has cancer and lives in another state and also the kicker is that he has a really bad drinking problem and I would never want him for a boyfriend unless he did a huge 180. The I have this other guy is trying to be with me but he is married... Would treat me like a princess but I am not going to do that to another woman. I know the feeling of being cheated on and yeah it is pretty shitty! There is one guy that I would really like to be with and actually think that he would be almost perfect for me but the fact is that he is kinda my boss and we could lose our jobs if anything ever happened. Plus I don't know if he would look at me that way. I have friends that tell me about online dating sites but I look at it as I am not incapable of meeting someone just keep meeting the wrong ones...
On another note, I was "trying" to quit smoking but I broke that last night when i went to the bar with a girl from work and had 2 cigarettes. So it will be harder then i thought but I will do it eventually. The hardest part is not doing it when I am drinking or around friends that smoke. Another thing is trying to lose weight. I know I could stand to lose a few lbs. but i am actually fine with myself now but have a father that will not let the fact go that i am over weight. My thing is the moment that Hollister shirts stop fitting over my boobs then I have a problem. lol!
So tonight, my new friend Kristy and I are hitting up Stoneys Country Bar. Should be fun. She is a friend from work that actually reminds me of the best friend I had growing up in San Diego. She is engaged but that doesn't mean we can have fun and I can maybe meet a cute new boy! =) Hopefully!!! Well i will continue to try this out and to whoever is out there keep you posted on my confusing and sometimes lonely love life . Gotta try and take a nap before tonight and hopefully try to find an outfit for tonight.