Sometimes bad is more then good.

Well with owning a home that is older then "T" and I comes a lot of problems with this place. Ugh where do I begin? The plumbing is completely screwed! We basically have to redo all the plumbing underneath. Thank God my dad knows his plumbing because we don't have to hire a plumber because they want $4500. Which is WAY more then we payed for this entire place. So anyways... my dad is going to fix it for us but the problem that comes with that is we of course must pay for the materials which will more then likely be more then $100. I know its nothing compared to $4500 but even that right now to us is more then we can afford. So... we have to somehow come up with this money for that. Ugh! This whole thing needs to be done ASAP too because at anytime our plumbing could become clogged again and then we are screwed even more. So "T" will more then likely have to use his tax return to pay for the materials.

Then there is the relationship between "T" and I that has become strained because we both get so stressed out about all the problems with our home and our finances. We got in a huge screaming argument yesterday over the phone. I can not remember the last time I have yelled at someone like that. It brought out the worst in me and I hate that part in me! I know that I have issues with trusting a man, especially after watching my parents go through what they went through. Not to mention the men in my past that have been unfaithful to me. "T" does know that I struggle with trust and i know he does as well. I know deep in my heart that I have nothing to worry about when it comes to him being faithful to me. But somewhere in my subconscious i don't trust any man. I think they are all the same. He's one of the good ones and I need to consistently remind myself of that. So I just need to work on me a little bit more so that I don't yell at him like that again. Well I can feel myself beginning to ramble so it's time to stop typing...